STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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