when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
