What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
