I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
