So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
