i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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