I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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