oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
