I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
