absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
