dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
