its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
