one two three fourrrrnication!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
