I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
