By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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