I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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