she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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