Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
