I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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