Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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