just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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