lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
