I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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