Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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