I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
