The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
