Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my liver is dry heaving
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
