I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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