Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
