she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize