think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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