awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it was like eating out sand paper
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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