did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
