just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
