She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
