Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
