she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
