best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
