Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
