Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize