You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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