i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
