just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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