Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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