Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize