Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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