I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
be right there i have to get my cape
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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