I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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