he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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