so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
