some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
