Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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