I wish i was in the wii world.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
