one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
