I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
