I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
