Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he shaved USA in his pubs
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize