can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
