Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
