My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
