this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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