i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
