I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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