I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
