yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
