reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize